Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Lose All Fate In Love's LiveJournal:

Sunday, April 11th, 2004
2:19 pm	My Gift to You, My Heart Was Yours Complete and total adoration, My gift to you, my heart was yours, In ten weeks you shaped it, In one night you murdered it. Torn from my chest and laid at your feet, That first step that you took was the worst. Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark, And I still have these memories, But will never see what we could have been. Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now? Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? Remember, Cause that's all you can do. We'll never make another memory, We'll never make another memory. I wish i would have died in your arms the last time we were together, So I wouldn't have to wake without you today. This time I thought things were real, You said they were, What happened? You were a priority, Was I an option? I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone. Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled. Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart, I'm just sorry that it wasn't enough. So, we'll go our own ways, And hopefully you'll remember these things i've told you, Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said is in sincerity. A broken heart is not what I wanted from this, But I guess i've learned from it. But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes? I don't consider this a mistake, I just wish the story didn't end this way, Cause i'm still in love with the person who helped me write it. Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now? Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? i really dont know what to say about my whole situation, i thought it was getting better because i have been hanging out with my neighbor, tommy a lot and he's like 26, but i have to tell you. last night was an excellent night. no guys, i didnt meet a girl... but yeah. about last night... i went over to tommy and angelica's at around 8-ish... but i didnt know if i was going to the mall or not with david so i didnt really get ready. after david came by my house to see if i was going, i had to tell him "no" but im thinking that it was for the best because i dont know if i would've had this much fun with david than tommy. alright, well i went over to tommy's and i wanted to borrow Texas Chainsaw Massacre in Travis County, so i went over there and got it. and then we started getting into this discussion about ghosts and evil spirits and etc. so i told tommy about me, david and jo's adventure in hotel hawn or hawn hotel, whichever. doesnt really matter. and hes all like "that name sounds familiar." and then hes all like "well lets go to wal*mart to get this movie, The Shining, you need to see it". so i go tell my mom that we're going to wal*mart and shes all like "okay". then we start up the car, but we dont go to wal*mart. we go back to Hawn Hotel to look at it. we didnt go in, we were just looking at it from the Goodwill parking lot. then tommy realized that his mom has lived in temple all her life so we went to his mom's house which isnt too far from david's to see what she knew about the hotel. come to find out, it used to be a very, very fancy hotel back in the 30's-40's for celebrities and everything. and she started telling us that there was a murder/massacre there. shes not real sure about the massacre, but i think so, because the 1st, 2nd, and top floor are banned from anyone to see. the top floor's a ballroom, big ass ballroom. alright well, she started telling us that she used to live there and everything. and thats why tommy said that name sounded familiar. come to find out, tommy used to somewhat live there. he lived there for maybe a month with his mom. then his mom sent him to his grandma or something like that. im not real sure about the whole story, but yeah... so come to find out, tommy's uncle was a fry cook in the hawn hotel. right then and there, we knew we wanted to know more. there are tunnels in downtown temple. we're thinking they lead out of town or something because temple's a town that's known for its railroads and crap like that. so why not have an underground railroad? get what im saying? it makes perfect sense... alright well, then we left there and tommy was telling me how like its babolyan or something like that because in babolyan when you die there, the spirit stays trapped there. petriguoury or something like that is the word he also used. but yeah... so we were driving back to his house because he forgot the check book and all, so we got back in the car and we started to drive and we got to maybe where Jalisco's is by Churches Chicken and we turned in the parking lot and the gear was stuck on 1st gear so tommy knew then that we were fucked. so his brother mark lives like maybe 2 or 3 blocks away from where we're at so we're driving in 1st gear over there. and the thing couldnt back out or nothing. so tommy calls mark on his cell phone and he goes mark's answering machine and hes all like "hi im not home right now." and tommy goes, "bitch, you're home, you need to quit watching those damn pornos. motha fucker answer the god damn door." so we gave up there and mark's house isnt far from ours. mark lives across the bridge, so all we had to do was get across the bridge and we were home free. well then, as we're crossing the bridge, at the top of the bridge, the car decides to die. and we're like "wtf" so we start to push it, acting like we're humping the car as we're riding in it. then it dies right then and there, and its still in first gear, so once you turn it off, its rolling backwards. then we called jay and he came. keep in mind that we're in the neighborhood we live in. just down the street. alright well then jay comes, and then me and jay go get a chain to haul the car to tommy's house again. and then we go back and there are two cops talking to tommy and jay had his beer with him so he slides that down near me. and then tommy told us the first thing they asked tommy is "is this car stolen?" and tommy goes "now lets be real about this officer, if i would've stole a car, dont you think i would've picked something better than this piece of shit?" then the cops left. but oh yeah.. while we were waiting for jay to come, some punks were driving and passed us and they told tommy "get that piece of shit off the road" and tommy flicked them off and went "fuck you, asshole". man, it was so fucking funny. then they hook the chain up to tommy's car and everything and tommy tries to turn it on, and the bitch starts. we're like "ahhh, thats fucked up"... so then tommy still has that car in 1st gear. alright, well then we went to wal*mart in mark's car, and we didnt get home 'til about 2 in the morning. oh man, all i have to say is what a night. that definitely made me take my mind off of a few things. but now as i sit here alone listening to acoustic music, it only makes me so alone. ... well i guess thats all for a post A heavy foot on the gas pedal of a borrowed car An empty pack of cigarettes next to me on the floor Soggy letters wet with my tears from this sunny day And the echo of your hollow promises spoken so many ways Too many solitary days To count where I can feel you trace The outline of my lips And pictures in black and white It hasn't been that good for a long time and I would give anything for just one more perfect night Curled up on the floor Sad music on the radio A time when I felt secure Current Mood: lonely Current Music: Across Five Aprils - A Year From Now
Saturday, April 10th, 2004
8:20 am	Dear Hayley, No Regrets even though hayley told me the hardest words that i cant even begin to cope with, im still stuck on her. yeah i know im really pathetic wishing for something that's not here in Texas, or even Temple at that because i cant find anyone in Temple because they dont understand me or we're nothing alike. and i want a girl who i can sit in a field watching for shooting stars holding one another and listening to some lyndsay diaries or rocket summer. thats my dream girl. someone who we can talk about music with and everything. but yeah... last night i realized that i have some friends that truly care about me. Rachel, Ashley, Shannon, and Amber all came over here because they were worried about me with the whole Hayley situation. they came over here and i was skating to the park and i was trying to be happy but when they left, i realized that i was alone with no one. why am i destined to die alone? i wish i could be like mark and not really give a fuck, but thats not me. im the guy you'll see at school in the corner of where we stand in the student center listening to his cd player and trying to hold back tears. im really a wreck knowing that hayley and i will never be, but i guess ill just have to learn to accept it. well, on the bright side, i went semi-streakin' last night while i was skating. Rachel,               Oh man, I can't believe you'd do that for me. That was just incredible. You're such an amazing sister. I seriously don't know where I'd be without you. I love you, Sister. Sent with care from here to there. Amber,              Man, we've known each other since kindergarden, and you're still there for me. That's just awesome. I love you too, Amber. Ashley,              You and I have our differences but when it counts, you're there for me. And I'm really sorry I blow up on you, all of the time, and you still come back for me. That just shows what a coureagous heart you have. I'm sorry things didn't work out. Shannon,                 Shannon, Shannon, Shannon, what would I do without you? You've been there since 6th grade at Bonham. You're amazing. alright enough with that... Please don't forget all those memories we've shared And Hayley, please don't leave me here all by myself What happened back there? What happened back there? What happened back there that had us staring into the eyes of death? The eyes of death... -:Sent with care, from here to there:- Consider this right here The Heartbreak Scene Current Mood: heartbroken still Current Music: The Lyndsay Diaries - Dear Lyndsay, No Regrets
Friday, April 9th, 2004
4:16 pm	I Hope You Got What You Wanted... yeah i hope you guys are just having a grand day. hayley to me about some shit so yeah. my day's just going great, eh? yeah.. whatever. i cant believe it came to this. now im really heartbroken, and she lives in friken ohio. i guess this is what i get for being a wishful thinker i dont know what else to do im probably going to go to rachel's with steven in a little bit to hang out since rachel doesnt really want me to be alone today because shes kinda afraid of what ill do. but yeah. im sure none of this matters to hayley. she got what she wanted... i hope she did. if theres any way i could make her happier, then just say so, hayley. c'mon.. whatever you say cant hurt me anymore. i wanna hate you so bad, but i cant. but yeah.. ill go on being the wreck i am and blocking everyone else out of my life. i got onto nick (white boy) about some shit that maybe i shouldnt have said. i dont know. i guess i was just taking out all my anger on him because of the whole hayley issue. but whatever. im sorry? yeah guys, i seriously hope you enjoy your fucking day cause i know i wont. i knew it was too good to be true </3 Current Mood: heartbroken Current Music: Yellowcard - Empty Apartment
11:46 am	</3 I Knew It Was Too Good To Be True I had a dream last night and in my dream I took a knife to you I slit your throat from ear to ear The wound was gasping for the air your scream so clear But every dream could never come true Only in my sick mind can I do these things to you With every passing moment, it just keeps getting worse The walls are getting smaller and I am six feet beneath the earth And I will be, oh I will be, just lost I had a dream last night and in my dream I robbed a country club A 5-year-old tried to stop me, but I shot him through the head, and now he's dead Your heart Oh it's better to... rush upon this blade Then give into the fear in your heart These dreams never cease   Life, is floating fast away But I look, your head is turned away From the moment you left I knew that something wasn't right But the feeling inside has kept me up all night You and me are like one heartbeat So slice open my veins Then let the romance bleed away From the moment you left I knew that something wasn't right But the feeling inside has kept me up all night You and me are like one heartbeat Back into what I thought I knew, these words inside me, tell me what to do My heart held, in the palm of your hand (Forget my name) Now I know, the way to go, this place inside my demented mind (Forget my name) You saw me bleeding on the bathroom floor (Forget my name) This time in silence, this time I win   You ripped my heart out, you tore my eyes out, now you're gonna pay I'll stab you one time I'll eat your heart out so you feel my pain Don't you know that I always see you in all of my dreams? I wanna kill you, but now I'm insane   the first time i saw a body bend that way i realized that we're more beautiful dead than alive. then, with bloodied flesh removed, your rib cage ripped away - and i saw why they say beauty comes from the inside. it won't be the same this time around and you'll never be the same again. i promise to never forget you. i know you'll remember me for as long as you live...and your life ends right here, right now, as i tear your heart apart. i'll take your hair with me, wrapped around my bloody knuckles as a soft, silken reminder of the day you discovered that even the softest words can't heal the deepest wounds. i pray that they find you and use the softest words to hide the hardest truth. i'm covered in your blood...now it's over. we're better. one day we'll forget you were so right and so clever. save me from this love affair with broken hearts before it's too late. save me or save yourself. the air tears at my skin - robbing my veins of the life i had hoped to have. you killed a part of me tonight and left the frozen air to finish the job. so now i realize the cowardice you kept behind your bloodshot eyes and awkward frame was calling the shots...and i was left depleted - grinning like a retard who thought you were there when you had retreated. i'm slowing down into a shallow circle while my heartbeat fills the gaps between sporadic and failing gasps. i'm face down in the mud with eyes still bruised and purple while my heartbeat fills the gaps between sporadic and failing gasps. i swear on my life that if i could take this knife out of my back, i would - but between the loss of blood and the loss of my trust in you, i don't think it'd do any good. if love existed we wouldn't be so soft and easy to ruin. i dreamt of a fever, one that would cure me of this cold, winter set heart. with heat to melt these frozen tears and burned with reasons as to carry on. into these twisted months i plunge without a light to follow but i swear that i would follow anything if it would just get me out of here. and so you get six months to adapt and then you get two more to leave town. in the event that we do adapt we still might not want you around. and i fell for the promise of a life with a purpose but i know that that is impossible now. and so i drink to stay warm and to kill selected memories because i just can't think anymore about that or about her tonight i give myself three days to feel better or i swear i am driving off a fucking cliff because if i can't make myself feel better then how can i expect anyone else to give a shit and i scream for the sunlight or a car to take me anywhere just get me past this dead and eternal snow because i swear that i am dying, slowly but its happening and if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere just take me there and lie to me and say it's going to be alright its going to be alright, yeah you worry too much kid, its going to be alright. And I looked I looked up at the stars and found the brightest pair the ones I could compare to your eyes and then As nightfall turned to day I watched them fade away As nightfall turned to day I watched you fade away Never will I let go of what I love and what she means to me the reason I can't sleep is the reason I miss her Its a feeling that no words will never be enough will never be enough will never be enough Another lonely night without her by my side take all that I am Im wishing you goodnight Another lonely night without her by my side take all that I am Im wishing you goodnight 43 minutes past one Do you remember that time I'll give you all that I have I'll give you all that is mine I'll keep my promise sincere I'll keep the thought of you near I'll be there every time Just like the shine of your eyes Another lonely night without her by my side take all that I am Im wishing you goodnight Another lonely night without her by my side take all that I am Im wishing you goodnight   I'll cut an X over my heart Blood drips from the corners of the room. As these walls scream imperfections through torn flesh and broken bones Then you'll ask me what have I done Tell me what havent you done if guilty lips are not so innocent A bullet with your name right through my chest proving love was worth dying for A bullet with your name right through my chest proving love was worth dying for Tear those wings right off your back And innocence is what you lack and when the trail leads back to me Apologies are all the same and this is how we play the game Show me a new way to bleed A bullet with your name right through my chest proving love was worth dying for. A bullet with your name right through my chest proving love was worth dying for. A bullet with your name right through my chest proving love was worth dying for. A bullet with your name right through my chest proving love was worth dying for.   Take your eyes and see me now Before I take what you took of me Lay my head on bloodless hands tonight Drown in tears the clear but poison wine Well i need what you owe Will you pay me back in bandaged covered wrists Dont you know The feeling of a cutthroat lover's kiss Please dont go Breaking other hearts just like this, just like this Cause im the only one who sees you in the darkness of the night And even though we're distant, I dream of you despite, the sickle in between us, that ruins and divides And even though your gone I'll love you all of my life. I can remember, parking lot nights What did they mean to you? Wrapping my arms around your body Protecting and holding you And holding you Looking inside of my eyes It was such a big surprise You've gone and done it again Does he love you like i can? Like i can Maybe it wasn't good enough, but I gave you all I could Would he stay up late if you can't sleep Cause baby i would (i would) And baby i could (i could) And you're the grim reaper standing down, and letting me feel this way With your sweet whispers that never told me you need me this way (this way) You'd leave me this way (this way) If you told me you were happy If you told me that you miss me Is it something that i cant see It's something i cant be Something i cant be (If you told me) (IF YOU TOLD ME) Maybe it wasn't good enough, but I gave you all I could Would he stay up late if you can't sleep Cause baby i would (i would) (Good Enough, Good Enough, Etc. Etc.) Just think of this and me as just a few of many things to lie around to clutter up your shelves And I wish you weren't worth the wait because there's some thing's I'd like to say to you... I don't think that you know what you've been missing Cuz I don't think that you know what you've been missing I dare you to forget those marks you left across my neck from those nights when we were both found at our best I could make this obvious, and you, you could deny me all in one breath you could shrug me off your shoulders... I don't think that you know what you've been missing Cuz I don't think that you know what you've been missing I don't think that you know I said I don't think you know I said I don't think you know what your missing Hey, lush, have fun It's the weekend Hey, lush, have fun Hey, lush, have fun It's the weekend Hey, lush, have fun I don't think that you know what you've been missing I don't think that you know what you've been missing Just forget me it's that simple Just forget me it's that simple   And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground And if they get me take this spike to my heart and And if they get me and the sun goes down And if they get me take this spike and You put the spike in my heart And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there Someone get me to the doctor, someone get me to a church Where they can pump this venom gaping hole And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat And if they come and get me You put the spike in my heart And if they get me and the sun goes down And if they get me take this spike and [Chorus] Can you take this spike? Will it fill our hearts with thoughts of endless Night time sky Can you take this spike? Will it wash away this jet black feeling? And now the nightclub set the stage for this they come in pairs she said We'll shoot back holy water like cheap whiskey they're always there Someone get me to the doctor, and someone call the nurse And someone buy me roses, and someone burned the church We're hanging out with corpses, we're driving in this hearse Someone save my soul tonight, please save my soul [Chorus] And as these days watch over time, and as these days watch over time And as these days watch over us tonight I'll never let them, I'll never let them I'll never let them hurt you now tonight I'll never let them, I can't forget them I'll never let them hurt you, I promise Struck down, before our prime Before, you got off the floor Can you stake my heart? Can you stake my heart? Can you stake me before the sun goes down?   Late dawns and early sunsets, just like my favorite scenes Then holding hands and life was perfect, just like up on the screen And the whole time while always giving Counting your face among the living Up and down escalators, pennies and colder fountains Elevators and half price sales, trapped in by all these mountains Running away and hiding with you I never thought they'd get me here Not knowing you changed from just one bite I fought them all off just to hold you close and tight But does anyone notice? But does anyone care? And if I had the guts to put this to your head... But would anything matter if you're already dead? And should I be shocked now by the last thing you said? Before I pull this trigger, Your eyes vacant and stained... But does anyone notice? But does anyone care? And if I had the guts to put this to your head... And would anything matter if you're already dead? And now should I be shocked by the last thing you said? Before I pull this trigger, Your eyes vacant and stained... And in saying you loved me, Made things harder at best, And these words changing nothing As your body remains, And there's no room in this hell, There's no room in the next, And our memories defeat us, And I'll end this direst. But does anyone notice? But does anyone care? And if I had the guts to put this to your head... But does anything matter if you're already dead? And should I be shocked now by the last thing you said? Before I pull this trigger, Your eyes vacant and stained... And in saying you loved me, Made things harder at best, And these words changing nothing As your body remains, And there's no room in this hell, There's no room in the next, But does anyone notice there's a corpse in this bed?   Now...This ones on you, and I won't let it die...I won't let go. Goddamn this whole thing. I remember being happy. And I said, That you must do what feels right. And I know, You must do what's best for you. And I said, That you must do what is right. In our hearts, we must carry on. No...I'm not afraid of being here, I'm scared of feeling alone again. Goddamn everything. I remember feeling happy. I wait to see, this will die and when it does I will be dead. Wait to see, this will die and when it does I'm dead. I hate to have to say goodbye. Cause I can't wait to tell you now that what we have must end.   Too late tonight, I'm gone and your miles ahead and I'm lost. Throughout this darkened scene, dark skies invade my dreams. The light resides in lines, offser in different times. And I'm blinded by a sea of this strange memory. Frames change and I'm still lost. scene stills lay still in this fog, ans I try only to see straight into through you. Your eyes become so bare, an eager empty stare. And I'm blinded by a sea of this strange memory. And I am...and I see.. it's just me. And I drift quietly through the thick of trees leaves. My mind slowly separates from my body. Days late and I'm not around now.. I don't care. Dreamscapes escape all my thoughts. Awake. I dream of a fate I cannot escape, now it's too late. Time dies in straight lines. Waiting, and I can't take anything, U try to believe everything, but I can't. Follow me again, out from everything. The dark that I dreamt are all lies I have meant...   Enjoy Your Day, Cause I Won't </3 Current Mood: heartbroken Current Music: heavy breathing from a broken heart
Thursday, April 8th, 2004
9:31 pm	So, Tell Me, What's The Price To Pay For Glory? oh man... what a day, thats all i have to say: Before school: got to school and everyone was hitting my chest and everything because i worked out yesterday after school and everything, and people were pinching me. david was supposed to bring his camera to take pictures and my cds, but forget 'em. but we'll get more into that later First period: walked with shannon bachoffer to first period and she told people we were getting married like the dork she is and then got in the class. mrs. boyd was taking roll and she was standing right in front of me and called my name and seth (fag) goes "hes right behind you, mrs. boyd. how could you miss him with that hair?" omg... i wanted to kick his ass right then and there. but yeah, we were making cascarones... so we were sitting there making cascarones and im sitting with nothing but seniors. chris and lonnie, and they were talking about the funniest shit. Second period: did nothing but studied Third period: read To Kill A Mockingbird Fourth period: got in trouble so mr. miller kicked me off the computers Fifth period: took a test Sixth period: did a worksheet Seventh period: took a test Afterschool: went to the weight room with abraham and steven and worked out some more. then came to my house, and steven's spending the night. then we were talking to david online and asked him if he wanted to go take pictures and he said he was down... then we walked to the mall area which is kinda far from my house... so then we were in subway where Jade works and then steven and me had to run to my house. because my mom was being a bitch and said we only had 'til 8 to be home... so we were like "fuck". we left subway at 7:40-ish? and got to my house at 8:15... not bad. now im about to get offline so hayley can call me and i have no clue what steven will be doing... but yeah. peace   Current Mood: tired Current Music: Finch - Letters to You
Wednesday, April 7th, 2004
8:54 pm	Hayley with purple eyeliner Hayley Hayley once again  Jo skatin' Stewart skatin' downtown Stewart bein' cool haha... Meegan bein' naughty Hayley in Florida last summer (last year) WHAT A PREP!!! haha Ren after she hit herself in the face Mark and me that's all, guys peace Current Music: The Starting Line - Playing Favorites
12:19 pm	Great Day turned To Bad yeah, i got to school today thinking it was gonna be an okay day. come to find out, lucus is depressed, not to mention a couple of my upper-classmen friends relationships have ended this week. so now my day's turned to shit. yeah lucus might make fun of me because im emo, but lucus is a good friend. he might talk shit about me and all but he's only playing, that's all. and hes a friend when it counts. so before i move to minnesota, lucus said hes gonna get me high... yeahh riiiight but yeah im not sure if i have any other post to do so im just gonna leave you with this picture that i feel like right now... lucus just made a livejournal so im gonna go check that out bye p.s. I Love You, Hayley Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Boxcar Racer - There Is
5:35 am	It Snowed in Texas, But You Missed (First Time Since '86) It's a beautiful day Now I'll be okay Now that you're not away Yesterday was a terrible day Now that you're here, I'm okay Cause you don't know how much I, I need you Please don't go You're so wonderful This I swear, this I know You, oh you Every single thing you do I'm so proud of you What you do When you do the things you do They're so you So thanks for your help You shine so bright You are the star that's in my sky And I am yours, and you are mine Oh you, woah you Every single thing you do I'm so proud of you What you do When you do the things you do They're so you I'm so proud of you That's so you really have nothing to say fell asleep on the phone with hayley woke up so i could talk to hayley online and im doing so right now i had to wake up pretty early anyways my mom told me she'd wake me up at 6 so i could crack the eggs and keep the shells for spanish gahh i hate mrs. boyd, especially since my mom and mrs. boyd are friends ::sigh:: well thats it P.S - I Love You, Hayley   Current Mood: tired Current Music: The Rocket Summer - That's So You
Tuesday, April 6th, 2004
12:22 pm	In School Being ridiculed By Lucasius Von vAlenhook Vahl! Mwahahahahahah! yeah lucus typed that title just for whoever's wondering but yeah sitting here in computer applications with nothing to do. since coreldraw10 was screwed up.........ROAR TIMMAY! JEWISH JEWISH JEWISH......that was lucus. the second bell just rung so lunch should be here soon ah man im so hungry hopefully Tim has brought $10 so we can buy our pizza... (Tradition Tuesday) stomach is growling lucus is imitating everything i type... lucus is just mad because he doesnt get free food because hes not mexican. HE'S JEWISH.....................BARMITZVAH! SENIGAD FIVE BOOKS TORAH IN THE HOLY HOLY BOOK OF ALLAH AND HIS SON ISHMALE I:SAAC THE GREAT BASTARD ROAR> WHOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAoooooooaoaoaooaoaoaoaaAAAAAOOOOOOO!.......that was lucus again- lucus is reading everything that he just typed being a complete moron. he's saying everything with an accent. now he's singing everything he reads. now screaming... "I believe in a thing called love, just listen to the rhythm of my heart. I believe in a thing called looooooooveee. uuuuuuuuuuouuuu HUH!" what a complete dork "Let's get ready to go everybody" - Mr. Miller bye buyebkbgvyfig;kygouygb[o08ytv8'oyt'op86v'o8/t7o8vy6'?^T*O769 that was lucus again a post when i get home from school   later masturbater Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Emery - Her Voice Fades
3:13 am	Only Our Hearts Will Survive for One Last Cry oh man, got the Emery CD. it kicks ass Steven Donoso burned it for me and i've been listening to it all day well it's 3:14 AM and i cant sleep. it makes me wonder, i should've stayed on the phone with Hayley. but yeah... i cant sleep so im writing in this since i havent done it in a while. but yeah... Michael Mata came over to my house so we could work on this project for Ms. Mattern's class, we finished it with the genius help of Jay. lol. he basically did our project for us, we just sat there and observed, but we had to get all the corrections and all that and i had to type up the report. michael left around 7 maybe. then i ate me some food came in my room and talked to people online school is just school. theres nothing significant whatsoever... im just ready for the long weekend to begin. 4-day-weekend, BIOTCH! but yeah, i guess thats all for a post. better get to studying spanish p.s - Hayley, I Love You Current Mood: geeky Current Music: Emery - Walls
Saturday, April 3rd, 2004
5:56 pm	Pictures Hayley "This means war!" declared by my little sister, Erika. Snowball fight between Erika, Andrea, and Jasmine... Erika lost and she's like 6 years older than them. *sigh* Snowball fight between Raymond and Erika. Very, very good shot of the neighborhood... Snapshot of Erika and Andrea. Melissa Hernandez Melissa again Melissa (the emo one) Woah... Meegan's emo eyes. How can you say "no" to those eyes? My cousin, Jessica. BACK OFF BITCH! Jay's truck covered in snow on Valentine's Day. Oh, how I'll never forget it... Andrea and Jasmine throwing snowballs at Erika. that's all guys. hope you like... peace   Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Brand New - Soco Armaretto Lime
5:11 pm	Wow... I'll be forever grateful to this and you It's only you beautiful I don't want anyone else yeah, not much to say... check out some of my photography... Erika getting a snowball thrown at her by Andrea Jay's truck covered in snow My cousin Jessica. Isn't she pretty? BACK OFF BITCH! Snapshot of Erika and Andrea Snowball fight between Erika and Raymond Snowball fight between Andrea and Jasmine in front of our house... Erika lost! haha! "This means war!" declared by Erika... Melissa Hernandez Melissa (again) Hayley Meegan Melissa (the emo one) thats all, guys...   im out, peace You're just jealous cause we're young and in love. Current Mood: hungry Current Music: Brand New - Jude Law And A Semester Abroad
Wednesday, March 31st, 2004
6:27 am	Boredom ...you are like a sunset to me. post for friends... Current Mood: drained Current Music: Matchbook Romance - Tiger Lily
Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
6:29 pm	Screams Are Felt Through A Thousand Burning Crosses yeah nothing really happened since ive gotten home emily bought the whole table pizza today since its tradition tuesday. our usual pizza buying day for the table. thats about it steven's mom gave me a ride home sitting here listening to Armor For Sleep Suffocate me all you need I will breathe but it's okay You'll be somewhere away from me And I won't need it The clouds break my heart And throw me from my room I'll drown in the rainfall And float 'til I find you You appear like raindrops And leave like you sink threw The streets that you fall on The cars that slip on you All of this For just one night Current Mood: content Current Music: Armor For Sleep - Bleeding In A Million Different Spots
12:29 pm	Another Song Before I Go... You're Just Jealous Cause We're Young And In Love This happened before and I'm sure it'll happen again It's getting old, I could never know This is not the first time, she says its the last time again And you're a tease Have fun overseas No, I'm kidding Give it some time Take my advice See these scars on me I'm just marking territory but I know a million girls who'd kill to be you right now. give me one night inside of your thighs a million girls would kill to be you right now And its happened before, and it'll happen again When your boyfriend comes home I should hope he keeps you terribly close, and you'd never know wouldnt be the first time dont think this'll ever end and you're a tease Have fun studying abroad No I'm kidding Give it some time Take my advice See these scars on me I'm just marking territory but I know a million girls who'd kill to be you right now. give me one night inside of your thighs a million girls would kill to be you right now and this has happened before and it'll happen again One thing a girl I want is going to come its like you're like a zombie when we're together Current Mood: calm Current Music: Brand New - My Nine Rides Shotgun
12:18 pm	I Hope You Choke And Die yeah just finished customizing this thing here in computer applications while lucus is saying some stuff and while he makes his own live journal. didnt get a chance to update yesterday so i'm doing so right now. but i'll update about today when i get home from school. Monday - well let's see. went to school and listened to the juliana theory. nothing really happened in the morning. hung out with friends. went to class and did nothing. mom got onto me because im failing ms. johnston's class with a 69... *sigh* well that's about it guys i'll leave you some lyrics to be bored with before the bell rings here for lunch pizza w00t-w00t *Tradition Tuesday* Passed out on the overpass Sunday best and broken glass Broken down from the bikes and bars Suspended like spirits over speeding cars You and me were kings over the parkway tonight And tonight will go on forever while we walk around this town like we own the streets and stay awake through summer like we own the heat Singing "everybody wake up(wake up)it's time to get down" (everybody, everybody wake up its time to get down) And when I pass the bottle back to Pete on the overpass tonight, I bet we laugh I'm gonna stay eighteen forever (cut me open) So we can stay like this forever (sun poisoned) And we'll never miss a party (this offer stands forever) cause we keep them going constantly And we'll never have to listen (new haircut) to anyone about anything (new bracelet) cause it's all been done and it's all been said (eyeliner) we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get (wait forever) The hell out of this town Find some conversation The low fule lights been on for days It doesn't mean anyhting I've got another 500 nother 500 miles before we shut this engine down, we shut it down I'm gonna stay eighteen forever (cut me open) So we can stay like this forever (sun poisoned) And we'll never miss a party (this offer stands forever) cause we keep them going constantly And we'll never have to listen (new haircut) to anyone about anything (new bracelet) cause it's all been done and it's all been said (eyeliner) we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get (wait forever) (you're just jealous cause I'm young and in love) Eighteen forever (your stomachs filled up but you're starved for conversation) So we can stay like this forever (you're spending all your nights growing old in your bed) And we'll never miss a party (and your tearin up your photos cause you wanna forget... it's over) cause we keep them going constantly (you're just jealous cause I'm young and in love) And we'll never have to listen (your stomachs filled up but you're starved for conversation) to anyone about anything cause it's all been done (you're spending all your nights growing old in your bed) and it's all been said (and your tearin up your photos cause you wanna forget... it's over) we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get Just jealous cause we're young and in love You're just jealous cause we're young and in love You're just jealous cause we're young and in love You're just jealous cause we're young and in love You're just jealous cause we're young and in love You're just jealous cause we're young and in love Brand New - Soco Amaretto Lime Current Mood: blah Current Music: HelloGoodbye - Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn
Sunday, March 28th, 2004
10:02 am	I Need You Like The Dragonfly's Wings Need The Wind Oh man... yesterday was alright. Last night was just incredible, I must say... hung out with Hayley 'til about 5 in the morning. That's all I remember when I'd run to you Through fields of white flowers Your embrace was my air How I need you there All of the world and all of its powers Couldn't keep your love from me I need you like the dragonfly's winges need the wind Like the orphan needs home once again Like heaven needs more to come in I need you here like you've always been Then I waved goodbye to you From fields of white flowers You were so proud of me I was too proud to see That all of the world and all of it's powers Coudln't keep your love from me... I need you like the dragonfly's wings need the wind Like the orphan needs home once again Like heaven needs more to come in I need you here like you've always been Taking for granted all of her smiles that got away Now I'm looking up at you From fields of white flowers You were so proud of me I'm so proud of you All of the world and all of its powers Couldn't keep your love from me Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: Dashboard Confessional - Morning Calls
Saturday, March 27th, 2004
7:15 am	Quiz emo. 28-33 scene points. you go to shows and act pretentious, but that's the way we like you. how many scene points do you have? brought to you by Quizilla emo. 28-33 scene points. you go to shows and act pretentious, but that's the way we like you.
6:54 am	And In Case You Were Wondering, You Are Like A Sunset To Me You're all kinds of beautiful as you end my day And you sweetly retire as the stars chase you away --The Spill Canvas Yeah, had a horrible night so I went to bed early and here I am at 6:55 AM writing in this damn thing. I have nothing to say. It just sucks. Life is getting so harder for me. How am I gonna make it through this one? Sam, I'm really sorry. Gahh... time for love letters to be engraved in my wrists. Peace Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: The Spill Canvas - Sunsets And Car Crashes
Friday, March 26th, 2004
8:27 pm	The Choices You Make Impact Us Forever Yeah, sitting here in my room just getting back from an eventful night with muh cuz, Abraham. We went to the Junior High track meet at THS and seen some of our friends up there but didn't stay there too long. Left around 7 and went to Abraham's house. Took his mom's car and went off to the mall and Abraham got him some shoes. Seen Rachel Wilson, Crystal Leon and some other person there. But yeah... after Abraham got his shoes, we stopped in TILT for a second and played a game of pool with Crystal and her cousin. I ended up winning! Then we stopped by McDonalds by Wal*Mart and I got me an application for there so I'll fill that out later on tonight. It's 8:30 PM and I'm listening to Ocean vs. Stars new demo. It's pretty kickass. Ocean vs. Stars - Snow Black Awesome song. Ocean vs. Stars formally known as Tweleve Stair Bail has made a change into some emo so it's pretty tight. But yeah.. today sucked. I faked happiness all day. The only time I was truly happy was when I was out with Abraham. Well, that's basically it. Shoutout to muh krunk friend Marissa Castano! Peace.. Current Mood: blank Current Music: Ocean vs. Stars - Ribcages